To begin, here is an article I wrote – it’s taken from a chapter in my book:

“As an employee (AKA underling, one of the little people, etc.), you have no power. You have your job, some “financial security” (if any job can be said to be secure nowadays), your insurance (if you’ve got any), but no leverage. No control. You do, however, have one more thing – rights.
Every person has the right to dignity, respect, and the right to keep whatever self-esteem they can muster (not always easy if you are, for instance, working in the mailroom – the bottom rung on all corporate ladders), waiting tables, working as a sales person behind a department store counter, or as an extra on a soundstage, etc.
We are sometimes asked to pay a high price for our careers. The “dues” are tough. They can go on for a long time and, sometimes, we get no payoff, in spite of how much we’ve paid.
But no one, NO ONE, has the right to ask you to compromise yourself the way harassers routinely do. You owe NOBODY your skin.
No one, no matter what they have or don’t have the power to do for you, has the right to ask you to perform like a porno star before they will help your career. Professionals won’t ask you to do that. Those who ARE interested in your career will ask you to do your job well…and only that.”



And, from another chapter in my book – this one’s about a Canadian actor (who shall remain nameless) and what he considers appropriate behavior towards his loyal fans –

Let’s call this Fan Gate…

“A Canadian actor’s American-based fan club was known to have one weekend a year where the actor would meet with a few dozen of his fans – members of his fan club, whose names (to attend) were (supposedly) drawn from a hat. A hotel would be booked, and everyone would meet there. The fan club members would be able to talk to the actor, ask him questions, have their pictures taken with him, etc. He was very free with his kisses, which most of his fans were grateful for (he was handsome, in his younger days).

At some point, each fan club member would get a few minutes alone with him, at a table in a large room (everyone else stood around drinking, talking, etc.). One night, as one female fan sat on the actor’s lap, talking to him, she became disturbed/disgusted/shocked when she felt his obvious erection. She got away from him and was not quiet about the experience. She didn’t start screaming in horror, nor did she brag about it, but she did tell other people there what had happened, and expressed her repugnance. (Bravo to her for speaking out!)

The (female) fan club President (who was obsessed with and blindly loyal to the celebrity) went on to throw the victim out of the fan club, for not keeping quiet about it.

It caused a big rift in the fan club, with some members revolted by the actor’s indiscretion, and others by the fan club President’s actions in denying the victim membership (if she still wanted it, after that experience) merely for telling the truth. It did teach a lot of the members what kind of people they were associating with, in that fan club. Others chose to make excuses for those running the fan club (because they wanted access to the celebrity at a future “weekend” and knew they’d be denied it if they spoke out against the President for her actions – she was/is very vindictive and tolerated no disloyalty).

The last time I saw that fan club’s website (years ago), there was a disclaimer in a box on the home page. It was thanking those members of the fan club who had stayed loyal to the President through the “difficulties” of that year. Some people.

Was that female fan sexually harassed? You bet (whether intentionally or not). Should she have spoken openly about it? Of course. Did she pay for her candor? Unfortunately, yes. It was the lack of integrity on the part of the obsessed fan club President that was the problem (and the lack of control on the part of the celebrity). The victim should not have been victimized further, after her ordeal with him.

Sadly, sometimes things can work out that way.”

But that should never be a reason not to speak out. You could be harassed again, and certainly other people will, if you protect the harasser by your silence. The only thing that protects any victim and/or holds the perpetrator responsible for his/her actions is speaking out. It can be protection, it is justice – it creates EMPOWERMENT!



Tags: sexual, harassment, assault, groping, rape, abuse, letch, blackmail, Cosby, molestation SH, crime, SH101, sexual harassment 101, sexual blackmail, employee, victim, HR, work, sex, victim, bullying, woman, sexual advances, environment, man, illegal, abuse, unwelcome, crime, offensive, assault, work, discrimination, physical, behavior issues, harassment, inappropriate, intimidation, rape, rapist, comments, workplace, business, coercion, attack


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